Female Genital Mutilation – Losing my ‘Smile’
A smile sells. A smile gets you the job. A smile gets you a friend, a lover perhaps. A smile gets you into places you could only dream of. A smile makes you memorable. But not everyone has a smile. Trust me.
A smile is precious. I lost mine at the back of my grandmother’s hut. So did my sister and other sisters before me. You will be loved – they said. You will be more valuable – they said. It is how we live -they said.
I gave away my smile for my community. I gave away my smile for the chance at love. For the change of belonging. I bore out my smile like a heroine. In fact, I walked like one. I spoke like one. I preached the loss of a smile. What do you need a smile for anyway? You step higher when you lose it -you know.
But I became numb when I was expected to really smile. I could not understand why those who did not lose their smile like I did found love. Were we not supposed to give up this part of ourself so we could find love?
Last Monday night I stormed into my mother’s hut. I wanted to know why Naiserian and her mother were cast away from the village. The day before that, I wanted to know why Naeku the teacher was chased by the parents. And the day before that, I wanted to know why Naipanoi died ten days after coming out of my grandmother’s hut.
This Monday I listened to the girls who came to the village circle in a van. The girls were from the city – they said. The girls spoke about their smile. Their smile is power. Their smile sells. It gets them the job. It gets them to places they could have only dreamed of. It made them memorable. They all had their smile. They said everyone has a choice on how to use their smile.
What I have not told you, is that my mother has no answers for me. And I want to listen to the van girls even more. This Monday I am telling my mother about the van girls. I hope that on the next Monday, my mother will listen to the van girls with me.