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FGM: CULTURE OR MISOGYNY?

Ola was raised by her grandparents and she was especially her grandma’s favourite. Nana was always there to answer whatever curious questions her young inquisitive mind conjured up to ask BUT one.

“Mama, what happened to my twin sister?”

Grandma’s face would cloud over and one day, she conceded to tell Ola everything when she turned 18.

True to her words, on the night of Ola’s eighteenth birthday after the celebration during the day, grandma called Ola to her inner chambers and Ola could already see that whatever she had to say was really “heavy”, and it was indeed heavy.
Grandma proceeded after a long sigh.

“Ola, listen to me. We were not wicked, and whatever happened to your twin sister was definitely not intentional. We thought we were doing the right thing by trying to cut your sister.”

Ola perked up and asked: “Cut? What d’you mean by cut?”

“Do not interrupt me!” Grandma retorted.

And Ola kept her mouth shut straightaway, she didn’t want to annoy granny enough to not even tell the story at all and forever.

“We cut off your sister’s clitoris first as she came into the world before you. She was Taiwo. It was meant to purify her and make sure she chose to be responsible and abstinent from sex. We wanted her to keep herself for her husband and not put the family to shame. We wanted her sexual purity. We didn’t mean to kill her!”

Ola couldn’t keep shut and screamed: “Kill! What?”

“Yes,” grandma continued.

“She died. She haemorrhaged to death! She bled until she gave up the ghost. I can still hear her screams until it turned to a weak whimper, and then silence.”

Grandma was silently crying by now.

“That’s why we named you Ola so we could pretend you were never a twin and forget about our atrocity we committed against your twin. We didn’t touch you at all out of fear of losing you too.”

Ola knew FGM had been banned in Nigeria and asked grandma why they did what they did all the same. Ola had learnt in school that FGM didn’t have ANY benefit.

“But it’s our culture, Ola!”

Ola, in turn, hugged her grandma and calmly asked if a culture that hurt women and girls and that clearly has no benefit should be kept and not thrown in the bin.

Pin-drop silence.

58 Responses

  3. We need to start giving awareness to our older generations on this archaic belief. How can you decide to destroy a life all because you want to be proud of yourself? This practice simply sees women as nothing other than baby-making machines. It simply means they don’t deserve to enjoy anything. Gosh! Patriarchy and this Hunger for control has destroyed a lot. It’s time we awaken and fight to protect the girl-child.

  4. This is amazing!

    FGM is just another form of oppression of our gender, and is sickening to say the least, that women have had to live with this menace for generations. It has to stop. Let’s end female genital mutilation together!

  5. I love the authentic use of African terms like “Nana”. You didn’t translate it or explain it like I have seen people do before. I also love the way you show how attitudes change on FGM generations downs the line. And yes FGM is horrible with tragic results.

  12. Hurts to think about how many innocent girls have lost thier lives like ola’s twin. I wonder why the world is so obsessed with our Bodies 🤦🏾‍♀️

  13. Any culture that is to the detriment of one gender irrespective of whatever they seek to achieve is a barbaric culture that should be thrown out.
    Well done job Dasola

  21. A bad believe, that it’s effect as created a deep regret.
    However, Awareness should be created giving reasons to stop the ignorant ones.
    Nice piece.

  22. I still don’t understand why people hold on to ideas that are clearly not helping their life all in the name of “it is our culture”. Why should your culture be so rigid that it doesn’t allow room for improvement..rubbish!

  23. I was thinking if I were in Ola’s shoes. Would I have hugged her? I bet I’d not. But this is beautiful, Dasola. She has to hug her because she too has realized her mistakes but she is consumed by cultures. This is why we have to tell people that some cultures can be changed or eliminated if it’s dangering human lives. Most especially, women are the vulnerable ones when it comes to cultural practices. It doesn’t benefit them just as it benefits men.

    Together as one, we will end it.

    Thanks for this beautiful piece. Ṣókí báyìí lọbẹ̀ oge.

  24. FGM is evil. It violates the rights of a woman. That the mutilation is meant to make a woman pure for the husband is sickening.

  26. Brilliant piece, Dasola. The scourge of FGM must and will be expunged from Africa. As the journey of a thousand miles starts with a first step, your story represents that first important step we all need to take….

  27. Thank you for drawing attention to the issue of FGM. Might there be a day when Nigeria, Africa and women across the world will be free and such cruelties will be stories of the past only! Plenty of light sisters

  35. This is a down-to-earth beautiful piece.

    “It’s our culture” could b the most worn excuse to do many evil things. Maybe, only next to “The Bible says” or “It’s God’s law.”

  39. FGM is as hazardous as any other crimes and should be treated as such;a crime. It’s nice seeing you change this life threatening issue,one story at a time.♥️♥️

  43. Plain misogyny. Female genital mutilation is a barbaric practice should be scrapped. Beautiful story by the way –short, yet, paints a vivid image.

  48. Sadly, some people still practice this barbaric culture. There’s still much work to be done to educate ignorant parents to desist from this evil act.

  50. FGM has been of no use. Thank you for this article sharing how dangerous and useless FGM is. If it’s culture or whatever it is, it should definitely be thrown in the bin.

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