As I stood in the queue waiting for it to get to my turn, others called it tradition, to my mom protection, but deep within a day I dreaded the most.
For Just like a lamb to the slaughter, the agony, anguish and fear, as It drew closer to my turn. Still, Granny’s words echoed in my thoughts ” A moment to confirm my place amongst the greatest women in history” that by mutilating I continue on with the blessings from my forefathers.
I trembled in fear with each step that I took, with screams from little girls my age coming right across the room, parents muttering praises to their mutilated daughters as they screamed right pass my side. With cheers from peers as it was soon my turn to be cut.
What horror!!! that words could hardly describe, my eyes all glued to the knife been used as I prayed for a miracle to occur. Soon I was bound to the bed and in tremor I screamed in regress. How can my mom be so calm and just watch as the knife moved so closer to my legs, I thought as i wallowed in despair. I still remember every moment of that day like it was just hours ago, a traumatizing event. I stay up most nights wailing all through the night as the acts still hunts, terrorising my life, from the feeling of shame of the scars it gave, to the untamed thirst for actual bliss from sex that I struggled to get.
In a quest to be filled I’ve lost real feelings as I struggled with attaining a lasting delight.
I had thought time would heal the scars it gave, but each day like yesterday were the injuries made new. Filled with disgust, contempt and depressed, I’d resulted to measure to end my grieve and this brief are my woes and ultimate cry for help, for myself and to others just like me. Evidently, all they had claimed weren’t true, a connection to the ancients and the acclaimed protection. Why mom didn’t protest still cringe my chest, when in truth she dreads the actual events. The pain she felt, the tears she shed knowing I was next to take on the ache she had shouldered for years. But in fear she trembled and hid her disdain, not wanting to be ostracized she feigned a smile, upholding a lie.
