The Dreadful Knife

The Dreadful Knife
“Nala! Wake up, it is today!” I still remember the joyous voice of my bubbly cousin Adia waking me up that morning. It was the day we would become women as echoed several times by my grandmother, mother and aunties. I never quite understood the process of circumcision, all I knew is that it was painful and so I was scared of it. However, in my village, girls who did not go through circumcision were outcasts and could never get married plus there was barely anything I could do, I had just turned twelve years old and always followed my mama’s guidance.
We got to the ceremony, there were two separate queues, one for boys and one for girls. As we stood in line, waiting our turn, Adia kept on talking excitedly on how she could not wait to become a fully grown woman while all I was doing was fidgeting and sweating in the cold dawn. I kept on stretching my neck to see how far away from the knife I was. I greatly admired her bravery and optimistic nature, I wished to be more like her.
It all happened so fast, I felt a nerve-wrecking pain as the knife cut through my ‘womanhood’ shaa! I was quickly led to another room where they tended to the bleeding. Later in the day, my mama helped me get home and back to the room I shared with Adia. I soon learnt that Adia was never coming back. The knife not only took her chance of being a woman but it also took her chance of living. She suffered complications after the procedure and died as a result of hemorrhage shock at dusk that same day.
Oh! The cries of my little angel startled me, she just woke up! I recall, barely a month ago, when I was bringing little Zuri to life. The doctors claimed I was suffering from obstructed labor caused by my female genital mutilation and as a result, I now suffer from Obstetric Fistula.
I’m learning to be more optimistic, like Adia. I have my little Zuri, and I am bursting in so much love for her. As she looks up to me with those big innocent eyes of hers, I realize I am all she has to protect from the knife. I whisper a promise to her, and she seems to understand as she stops crying and starts to suckle out the milk off my left breast.