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ABYSSAL SCARS

Hers was not the case of a dashed dream but a traumatic future. Despite being successful at her age and achieving major milestones in her life before she was 27, she still felt empty. She glanced at the mail she had just received notifying her of her recent nomination for the “Top African Female Entrepreneurial Award”. She wanted to be happy but her scars ran deeper and dug faster than the feelings of happiness and pride she should have felt at that moment. This was her fate; she would live with this haunting memory forever.

She was only Nine. And her name is Lola.

A boisterous, ever-smiling and brilliant child every mother wished for and envied to have. She was the life conduit of her family. Everybody wanted to be around her because of the positive energy she exuded but this was soon to be short-lived.

Her mum had told her that they would be going to see Grandma Ajoke that weekend. They set out that weekend to her doom as she was never the same after that fateful weekend.

How can a woman be cruel to her kind?
She could still vividly recall the snide remarks “the women” had rained on her as she felt the life being drained out of her on that small wooden table with a simple yet powerful tool she had come to resent, ‘the blade’.
As the blade pierced through her clitoris, she let out an owl-like scream which was quickly drowned in the throes of backlashes and tumultuous slaps for her to stay still. After all, they were only helping her become more “womanly”. Their words had made her feel small and dehumanized; her feelings and consent irrelevant in that glorious moment. As the pain became unbearable, she could only remember drifting into a comfortable silence. That was the only time throughout that night she had felt safe.

This was a society that was supposed to be her ‘Safe-zone’. A place where she could thrive and not be made to feel inadequate because she was a girl.

Her crime? She was born a girl-child in a society that defined her before she had the chance to do that herself.

This is not fiction but the story of Lola and over 200 million young girls living with the gory trauma of female genital mutilation.

101 Responses

  1. Nice read. Wonderful job by the author in communicating the intricate details of the subject matter in an euphemistic way without letting the gravity of the topic diminish

  4. Thank you for sharing this captivating piece with the world. ♄
    I was 10, in Basic 7 when my PHE (Physical and Health Education) teacher was narrating her personal ordeals and traumas with FGM which she was still battling with.
    I really never understood what she was saying then, but for the first time, I saw pain in her eyes. The silence that swept the class after her narration that day was loud.

    As a society we must do away with this bestial practice and barbaric act and make the world a safe place for girls.

    Thank you once again for sharing this story.

  8. Feel free to also share any personal experience you’ve had with FGM victims and survivors.

    Did you connect with any part of the story, please share also.

  9. But, why does this still happen in this 21st century? This is a lifelong damage, not just physical damage but a psychological trauma.

      1. Hmmmm,the girl child has indeed passed through a lot of Truma emotionally and physically … It is time that we put an end to this… Wat an interesting story..

      2. In most cultures the legs of the victims are bound together after the procedure, and there are cases where some girls have broken their limbs due to being restrained during the procedure.

        What a trauma!

  23. Thank you for this beautiful piece. It was quite enlightening for me. Even though I’ve known about FGM for a while, I’ve not had a first-hand experience or met with someone who has and so I’ve not given a thought to the psychological effect and the trauma caused to its victims. This piece has been able to reestablish what I’ve always known FGM to be, completely evil and unnecessary. This barbaric act must be condemned at all levels, so many people need to be aware of the evil called ‘Female Genital Mutilation’ and the psychological trauma it causes to its victims.

  28. This is an excellent and well-articulated write-up. We need more of this to shed light on FGM victims’ challenges and how society can eradicate this.

  36. By just reading it,
    I could only but just imagine the kind of emotional and physical pain Lola went through that night.

    What’s more scary is that this things still happen to other girl child till date.

    Every girl child is golden.
    Stop Female Genital Mutilation.

  37. What a superb piece. I have always detest the need for FGM ’cause it is an eternal scar to the girl. It breaks me heart as I read through…
    Good job well done there, dearie

  38. Nice.
    Awesome write up like this will go a long way in creating awareness as the people involved in this barbaric act do not even know the damage that they are causing to these innocent children.

  44. An excellent piece!

    It’s really saddening to know that even in this modern day and age, the barbaric practice of FGM is still ongoing in some of our communities, causing trauma to young girls out there.

  48. Some cultures really need to be dropped, cause the amount of mental , physical and emotional trauma it brings is just too disheartening.

  51. I love this write-up. It is a great initiative. FGM activities should be abhorred. It is high time we put an end to such practices.

    The piece exposes the trauma the FGM victims experience. It needs to stop.

  56. Nice piece, I like how the story centered on the trauma the girls involved in this violation goes through. But personally I feel that educating the persons involved in this ignoramus and human humiliating act should be educated on the consequences their actions can have on the girls.

  59. FGM is a barbaric act unfit even for the Middle Ages. It should be unheard of in any sane culture. It is shocking that more than 200million women are a victim of FGM!
    The fight against FGM should be championed by both men and women. Countries who practice this act should actively campaign and raise awareness on the adverse effects of FGM. I remain optimistic that FGM would soon be dead and buried

  60. FGM is a barbaric act unfit even for the Middle Ages. It should be unheard of in any sane culture. It is shocking that more than 200million women are a victim of FGM!
    The fight against FGM should be championed by both men and women. Countries who practice this act should actively campaign and raise awareness on the adverse effects of FGM. I remain optimistic that FGM would soon be dead and buried.

  75. Am short of words. I actually had the privilege of knowing someone that was mutilated and the trauma still haunts her.
    Keep up the good work Atiti, the sky is your limit.

  85. Wow..nice write up..many people still have the superstition believe that doing FGM will make a female child not to get spoit..which is not true
it is harmful..#isaynotoFGM#

  89. It’s so sad that over time, this has widely been practiced in our dear continent (African societies). The traumatic aspect of it (FGM) can never be overemphasized. I strongly believe that and educative awareness like this should be able to curb this societal and cultural norms. I feel for them
    Thanks for the write up @promise1youthhub. We look forward to more of this

  90. My heart goes out to these victims as I read through this piece of work. i think persons who still practice this are ignorant of the importance of the clitoris in a woman’s sexual life and during childbirth.
    We all have to join our voices together to end this evil practice.

  92. Even after her achievements, she still battles with the trauma this dreadful act has inflicted on her……Hence FGM abolishment should be taken with utmost importance.

  93. Nice write up,Kudos to Promise Atiti,for a job well done,the society should be enlightened more about the bad effects of Female Genital Mutilation,most parents are ignorant of the side effects that most victims go through.

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