I love the holidays, I love waking up in my makeshift bed and looking at the way light splayed inside my room. I shuffled my feet inside my slippers and grabbed my beaded shawl before ma’s shrill voice cut through the unsettled fog. I made haste and nearly collided with ma’s frail form,” is this the time to wake up Chesang?”, “most of your peers are up and doing their chores before the first cock crows”,she started her chastise that always led to a lecture of marriage and how I’ve become of age. I’ve been dancing around this topic since I hit puberty. I mumbled an apology and scurried away before she gets more words out.
I know I’m in utter denial about it but I can’t seem to find the courage to wove my thoughts into words. As I sat on my makeshift bed that night, the thought of going against ma leaves my stomach knotting with nerves. I grabbed the pamphlet on F.G.M and soaked up every information on it.
How do you tell the legendary circumciser that you her only daughter doesn’t want to go through what tradition deem honorable, how do you tell her you vividly remember the screams, the blood and name of every girl ever circumcise by her, how do you tell her! I was jolted awake with ice cold water, as I grasp , strong arms dragged me outside my hut. I winced so hard as I collided with realisation and a pang of hatred shot through me as I came face to face with my Ma in her glorious regalia. I felt so hopeless as they pined me to the cold wet ground, the crowd dancing away ,”what an irony to my demise”, I thought as a sharp pain cut through every nerve in my body. Tears sprang to my eyes and I bit into my lips so hard I tasted blood. I felt light headed as darkness envelope around me.
“She’s bleending so much”
“The nearest hospital is miles away”
“What have I done”
I struggled to open my eyes, warm sunlight tickled my skin. I held on to that warmth as ma’s teary face came into view. I saw it in the way she cupped my face, I felt it in my shallow breathe. “I hope I’m her last wake up call”, I thought as I go under.