Imagine a swamp so vast, you cannot make out its end with your naked eye. First, picture a young girl, 13 years old. I want you to be her conscience – the eyes of her soul. Imagine her arduous escape from the only place she’s ever known, into the darkness, through the swamp and away beyond the hills. I want you to be her fear, her heart violently beating at her temples as she takes on unknown territory. Imagine her return, nearly 30 years later, roving mad and unrecognizable, but for her distinctive high pitched voice that can be heard echoing through the village at intervals. That is the story of Kerubo – she who dared defy the knife – as told to us on the eve of our ceremony.
Outside our holding hut, it is dead silent, save for the cries of the animals of the night and Kerubo’s usual midnight calls, seemingly more eerie tonight. Inside, an assortment of prepubescent girls, anxiously awaiting dawn and their monumental passage into adulthood. Nyakerairo has been crying since she was dropped off this afternoon. Although she’s only eight and the youngest, her father is the new chief and he is determined to prove himself. Me I am only here because baba said he is not sending any of his daughters as half-baked women into the world. It is the only way I could convince him to pay my high school fees.
All night long, I tried to come up with strategies that I’d use to still myself in the face of the blade. Nothing could prepare me for the mind numbing pain that sliced through my body as soon as Bhabha Maraari performed the cut. The blade was cold and bloody from previous encounters. When the fever rose three days later, they said it was a normal part of the process. Even in my pain and herb induced delirium, I caught wafts of the stench coming from my wound. I knew I was not getting better. I don’t remember much. I remember waking up from my bed, down the long corridor, and into the dead of the night. Thankfully, none of the aunties were vigilant. I remember getting only as far as the swamp at Esise. When I opened my eyes, I remember feeling sore and seeing Kerubo standing over me, a glass of water and what looked like tablets in her hand.