To most women my age, among the questions that keep them awake at night “whom would I have been had no part of my body been tampered with,” does not exist. I did not think about it either, until I moved away from home. A big part of our childhood was filled with talks about what was expected of us, especially the women. Of how important it meant if we stuck with what our ancestors brought forth. Of many who tried to outsmart the elders only to end up killed. I knew no place away from the imaginary boarders of my community. I had never heard of an uncircumcised woman, apart from those who escaped the act. That was being a woman, as defined by the community I identify with. So, painfully yet joyfully, because I was becoming a woman at last, I underwent the cut.
I am not sure when the joy of being a woman, through the cut was replaced by feelings of not being woman enough. What I know now, however, is that there exists a world far from home with beliefs so different from ours, with women who did not have to go through anything to prove how womanly they are. A world with people who have seen how inhumane the act I held so much dear is. It is these women, through something they thought was enlightening me, and with an unspoken hope that I would share their thoughts with people in my community, that I became confused. That I got lost. That I questioned my identity, constantly wondering if it is attached to the part I freely gave away.
A lot changed. I became a walking shell of the person I once was. I dreaded a lot of things, mostly, going for sleep overs with my girlfriends. They had no idea that I had gone through the cut, but knowing my community, they believed that I knew women who went through it. They condemned it, and applauded my parents for protecting me. I would never get past their realization that I was cut. To protect myself from the perceived shame, therefore, I declined every invite that would bear a possibility of me being naked in front them. The fear and shame also found their way to my dating life, which I then halted.
This shame, and fear. Whom would I have been without them?
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Dina Odhiambo
34 Responses
Wonderful piece. At this time in century, surely we need to fight this traditional act that brought more harm than good. Well done Dina!!
So, painfully yet joyfully, because I was becoming a woman at last, I underwent the cut.
What a juxtapose!
The portrayal of effects of FGM in the modern world is just spot on. 👏👏
Love this!
Great piece of writing, keep it up
Nice piece. Keep going girl
An intense clash of emotions. Captures the internal conflict the girls facing FGM in our societies go through.
This is a masterpiece.. I wanted to go on reading only to see the last paragraph
Wonderful piece. Keep it up Love. 👏
It’s great that the world is changing and FGM will be a thing of the past.
A very nice piece.
This is wonderful Dina! Bravo👏. Bringing a complete end to FGM is long overdue infact. It’s such a torture !
Whom would you have been without them!!…. I don’t know too!!! Great piece Dinasco.
This is so beautifully written, and powerful.
FGM should be a thing of the past.
Good piece. The distinction between how it was viewed and how it is currently, well brought out.
Good work 👏
Magnificent
I love this piece Dinah.You’re talented.Keep going girl.
Nice one piece work here,keep it up .👏👏👏
Awesome!!
One of the best article I’ve ever read😍😍
I love this….this fight must be won…..
Great piece Dina.
Good article! looking forward to reading more Dina!
Great piece of writing.
Let’s say no to FGM.
This is beautifully written, Dina.
“constantly wondering if it’s attached to the part I freely gave away.”
That’s a strong line there.
Woooooow!!
It’s sad that FGM hasn’t been stopped yet.
A powerful piece touching on the psychological trauma people who underwent the cut go through.
Such an amazing piece.
This is beautiful.
Such an interesting and captivating read.
This is a nice piece!
Beautiful!
Great article. Keep it up